You’ve
read the stories where the characters have repetitive actions. They’re
described in different ways, but in the end, they mean the same.
read the stories where the characters have repetitive actions. They’re
described in different ways, but in the end, they mean the same.
Harold glanced at Audrey. “Are you okay?”
Audrey peered through the darkness at him. “Scared
is all?
is all?
Harold narrowed his eyes. “Don’t tell me
you’re afraid of ghosts.”
you’re afraid of ghosts.”
“I don’t like anything I can’t explain.”
She stabbed him with her glare.
She stabbed him with her glare.
A low moan came from somewhere within the
house. Harold closed his eyes. He’d taken the dare. He couldn’t turn back now.
house. Harold closed his eyes. He’d taken the dare. He couldn’t turn back now.
You get
the idea. Some take the adage, “The eyes are the window of the soul,” to the
extreme. Those authors, if they aren’t using a speech attribute, give all
movement to the eyes.
the idea. Some take the adage, “The eyes are the window of the soul,” to the
extreme. Those authors, if they aren’t using a speech attribute, give all
movement to the eyes.
Some
authors will have their character’s gripping everything in sight. The same rule
applies. Characters’ actions should be varied. Deep thought can be used to aid
in presenting rounded characters.
authors will have their character’s gripping everything in sight. The same rule
applies. Characters’ actions should be varied. Deep thought can be used to aid
in presenting rounded characters.
The
best authors use beats that provide insight into the personality of their
characters:
best authors use beats that provide insight into the personality of their
characters:
Harold strolled up the steps of the old
abandoned house. His friends had called him a coward. Still, he had a mystery to solve and nothing would stand in his way.
abandoned house. His friends had called him a coward. Still, he had a mystery to solve and nothing would stand in his way.
Audrey clutched at the back of his shirt.
He reached for her hand and with a gentle
tug brought her to his side and slipped his arm around her shoulder. Supposedly
haunted houses were great places to take a date. Girls loved to be frightened,
even if they wouldn’t admit it. “Are you okay?”
tug brought her to his side and slipped his arm around her shoulder. Supposedly
haunted houses were great places to take a date. Girls loved to be frightened,
even if they wouldn’t admit it. “Are you okay?”
Audrey leaned in closer to him. “Scared is
all?
all?
Harold chuckled, but not too loudly. He
didn’t want to awaken anything that could be waiting for them in the dilapidated
mansion. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid of ghosts.”
didn’t want to awaken anything that could be waiting for them in the dilapidated
mansion. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid of ghosts.”
In his arms, Audrey shivered. “I don’t like
anything I can’t explain.”
anything I can’t explain.”
A low moan came from somewhere within the
house. Harold stilled every muscle in his body. It wouldn’t do to let Audrey
know he was just as frightened as her. He’d taken the dare. He couldn’t turn
back now.
house. Harold stilled every muscle in his body. It wouldn’t do to let Audrey
know he was just as frightened as her. He’d taken the dare. He couldn’t turn
back now.
When self-editing, a helpful hint for
authors is to highlight repetitive motions and, when possible, provide a more
vivid picture of movement. Characters do widen their eyes, narrow their gazes,
glare, look up, look down, and look away…but the best stories limit those
actions.
authors is to highlight repetitive motions and, when possible, provide a more
vivid picture of movement. Characters do widen their eyes, narrow their gazes,
glare, look up, look down, and look away…but the best stories limit those
actions.
Happy editing.
Good advice. These beats are so difficult to edit out when you're too close to the work, too.
Good thought, Fay! I'll have to remember that one…